Way Too Little, Way Too Late: Rare Gives "Inside Peak" at Twelve Tales after Nearly 2 Decades

There probably aren't any Rare fans left. What kind of idiot could be a fan of what Rare has become today? But for those of you who, like me, still love what Rareware once was I recommend you check out this pretty cool video, where "Louise" from the Conker team gives viewers a look at unseen footage of Twelve Tales, the game Conker's Bad Fur Day was before it got a much needed gnarly makeover.

If you're a Rare or N64 you may know the story but here's a dumb-show for the uninformed: Back in 1997 Rare was working on two action platformers starring cuddly heroes. Banjo Kazooie and what was then called Conker's Quest, later renamed Twelve Tales: Conker 64. When BK was released, Rare found itself in a pickle. Conker was too similar to Banjo Kazooie and a litany of other cutesy, colorful platformers popular at the time. Rare, demonstrating creativity and nerve totally unknown in the video game industry today, decided to turn family friendly Conker into the raunchy and infinitely more memorable Conker's Bad Fur Day.

OPINION: Good Times are Here Again for the Video Game Industry

It is not my usual shtick to share optimism, especially in regards to the industry. Video games have had a rough 5+ years of drama, infighting, political tomfoolery - none of which contributed to the creation or enjoyment of good games. But I think after nearly a year of butthurt we are beginning to establish a new era of video games, one more similar to the one we were familiar with back in the 90's or early 2000's. And it is all thanks to GamerGate.

I'm sick of GG. As necessary as the last year has been, it hasn't been a great year for new video games (save for FNAF, thanks Scott!). But within all the intense criticism of this "movement" or "boycott" or whatever you want to call it, there is a simple message that we the consumers communicated to they, the industry;

• Make fun, high quality games and offer them at a competitive price.

That is all anyone wants out of any industry. Good product at a reasonable rate. For far too long developers, publishers and "journalists" have benefited from low expectations from wasteful spenders. But as always in capitalism, companies that embrace such a business model pay for it dearly. Sony is hurting. Microsoft is hurting. Even childhood rapists Electronic Arts are hurting. Video game journalists everywhere, those that work for large publications that is, are dying en masse. 

It is the video game journalists, what few that remain, who must be destroyed for us to complete our victory. Good news is that this is very easy and already occurring. We all have the tools to educate/inform ourselves about products and the industry. We do it ourselves, on Youtube, on forums and imageboards, and yes, through blogs. If mainstream "journalists" don't have the scoop, readers go elsewhere. When readers go, advertisers do. When advertisers go, the publication dies. If these journalists had not become so greedy in the first place they would not have sown the seeds of their own unemployment. 

Winning is assured my friends. We are the fans of this medium, which means we will always prevail over those who are not fans. Stay the course and keep doing what you have been doing.

Two for One Rumor Mill: Shovel Knight Amiibo apparently REAL!

That Shovel Knight Amiibo that people have been talking about like crazy? According to the UK editor of Destructoid (gross I know, but still) that thing is real.

According to this tweet from her, at least, it is.

Here's a picture of what it is supposed to look like, apparently:

Rumor Mill: New Mario Kart 8 DLC leaked on Youtube?

A video from Youtube channel Gamer Central was posted alleging that a New Super Mario Bros. U themed DLC pack for Mario Kart 8 was coming to the Wii U eShop. The supposed leak is classic blurry Youtube fare, but the level of effort is pretty impressive for a fake.

The quick ad spot seems to announce Bowser Jr., Kamek, Birdo, and Nabbit as new characters to race in Mario Kart 8. Also two unspecified mystery characters were present. Also announced in the ad were 8 new tracks and 4 new vehicles. Somewhat interesting stuff - but more curious is what is happening at Nintendo lately? Operational security seems to have been abandoned.

Anyways here's the video:

Tim Schafer says Broken Age "to break even"

After over 87,000 suckers were fleeced nearly $3.4 million dollars - an unholy process today referred to as "crowdfunding" - well documented has-been Tim Schafer reported a few days ago that Broken Age will likely recoup the cost of its production, as reported by gamesindustry.biz.

That a former titan like Tim Schafer can now only "break even" with his games is a depressing testimony to the declining quality of his games, his studio, and his ability to create. The creator of Grim Fandango and Psychonauts should be dazzling audiences with his new titles. Instead we get Broken Age, so plain I mistook it for a loaf of white bread.

But Tim Schafer and Double Fine are protected from the consequences of producing low quality video games by pandering to very hollow hipster nostalgia and abusing the already questionable crowd funding system. The 87,000 contributors must feel such pride to have contributed to such a project. Hopefully they were satisfied with the end product. If not, well, there is absolutely no means for them to hold Schafer, Double Fine, or KickStarter responsible.

This is the flaw of Crowd Funding and why I would advise anyone reading this (all you millions around the world) to never participate in crowd funding in any form. When crowd funding you are making a risky investment that offers you no reward for your risk and no guarantee of a good product. It is capitalism for chumps.

Returning to the point, Tim Schafer and Double Fine are surely better than just breaking even. Now that they are past Broken Age hopefully they abandon KickStarter forever and return to a higher standard of quality? Or maybe not.

No Man's Sky Gameplay

Here's a clip showing off the first 6 minutes of gameplay for No Man's Sky. It looks pretty interesting - with some polish and some further depth hopefully this will be a real winner from Hello Games.

Although Hello Games and their distributers have been hyping this game for years now, no release date for No Man's Sky has been officially announced. Damn Hipsters can't keep a schedule.

EVO 2015: Zero Wins Smash 4 Tourney with Amazing Combo

In case you missed the Super Smash Bros. 4 Competition at EVO 2015 this weekend, you missed a doozy of a competition. Particularly this incredible finish by the Smash Bros. Invitational Champion and possible best Smash 4 player in the world, the scarfed wonder Gonzalo Barrios, a.k.a. ZeRo. A comeback which shall be forever immortalized as "The Hoo-Hahppening"

Other spectacular highlights from the Smash 4 tournament included this absolute slap in the face by Abadango, playing Wario, against his long time rival Dabuz playing Rosalina. Dabuz completely fell asleep and Abadango was quite right to shake his posterior at him.

Even though unbeatable champion ZeRo may have reigned supreme in the end, I think Abadango was the real star of this competition. His Wario game is unreal and he wields those farts like surgical ass missiles. His Pac-Man abilities are impressive as well. Watching him wash over his foes with a tidal wave of projectiles is far and away the best use of Pac-Man seen yet.

The Waft Destruction

Here's the Abadango vs. ESAM match, which is an absolute roller coaster. Highlights include the entire first set and Abadango's spectacular use of projectiles at 8;20, 9:25, and the finish of the 2nd set at 11:25. The finale in the 3rd for the match was really a joy to watch. Abadango might not have won the tournament but he won the hearts and respect of neckbeards everywhere.

Part 1

Tiny Part 2

For more information about the Smash 4 Tournament or EVO in general, be sure to check out their official website.