Tim Schafer says Broken Age "to break even"

After over 87,000 suckers were fleeced nearly $3.4 million dollars - an unholy process today referred to as "crowdfunding" - well documented has-been Tim Schafer reported a few days ago that Broken Age will likely recoup the cost of its production, as reported by gamesindustry.biz.

That a former titan like Tim Schafer can now only "break even" with his games is a depressing testimony to the declining quality of his games, his studio, and his ability to create. The creator of Grim Fandango and Psychonauts should be dazzling audiences with his new titles. Instead we get Broken Age, so plain I mistook it for a loaf of white bread.

But Tim Schafer and Double Fine are protected from the consequences of producing low quality video games by pandering to very hollow hipster nostalgia and abusing the already questionable crowd funding system. The 87,000 contributors must feel such pride to have contributed to such a project. Hopefully they were satisfied with the end product. If not, well, there is absolutely no means for them to hold Schafer, Double Fine, or KickStarter responsible.

This is the flaw of Crowd Funding and why I would advise anyone reading this (all you millions around the world) to never participate in crowd funding in any form. When crowd funding you are making a risky investment that offers you no reward for your risk and no guarantee of a good product. It is capitalism for chumps.

Returning to the point, Tim Schafer and Double Fine are surely better than just breaking even. Now that they are past Broken Age hopefully they abandon KickStarter forever and return to a higher standard of quality? Or maybe not.

No Man's Sky Gameplay

Here's a clip showing off the first 6 minutes of gameplay for No Man's Sky. It looks pretty interesting - with some polish and some further depth hopefully this will be a real winner from Hello Games.

Although Hello Games and their distributers have been hyping this game for years now, no release date for No Man's Sky has been officially announced. Damn Hipsters can't keep a schedule.

EVO 2015: Zero Wins Smash 4 Tourney with Amazing Combo

In case you missed the Super Smash Bros. 4 Competition at EVO 2015 this weekend, you missed a doozy of a competition. Particularly this incredible finish by the Smash Bros. Invitational Champion and possible best Smash 4 player in the world, the scarfed wonder Gonzalo Barrios, a.k.a. ZeRo. A comeback which shall be forever immortalized as "The Hoo-Hahppening"

Other spectacular highlights from the Smash 4 tournament included this absolute slap in the face by Abadango, playing Wario, against his long time rival Dabuz playing Rosalina. Dabuz completely fell asleep and Abadango was quite right to shake his posterior at him.

Even though unbeatable champion ZeRo may have reigned supreme in the end, I think Abadango was the real star of this competition. His Wario game is unreal and he wields those farts like surgical ass missiles. His Pac-Man abilities are impressive as well. Watching him wash over his foes with a tidal wave of projectiles is far and away the best use of Pac-Man seen yet.

The Waft Destruction

Here's the Abadango vs. ESAM match, which is an absolute roller coaster. Highlights include the entire first set and Abadango's spectacular use of projectiles at 8;20, 9:25, and the finish of the 2nd set at 11:25. The finale in the 3rd for the match was really a joy to watch. Abadango might not have won the tournament but he won the hearts and respect of neckbeards everywhere.

Part 1

Tiny Part 2

For more information about the Smash 4 Tournament or EVO in general, be sure to check out their official website. 

Rumor Mill #3: Animal Crossing Amiibo Festival to have Online Play?

Nintendo's showing at E3 2015 without a doubt raised a few eyebrows. In light of Satoru Iwata's passing and Nintendo working on NX it makes some sense they weren't able to put together the most amazing show. E3 Conferences tend to be bipolar as well; one year a company will put on a great showing and the next year that same company will totally shit the bed. Nintendo is no different.

This year a number of games were really the subjects of a lot of fan frustration - sorry you never got a chance, Federation Force. But I experienced the most bottom harm due to Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival for several reasons. First, a traditional Animal Crossing game for Wii U would be a slam dunk. I expected that either at this E3, or certainly the next, an AC game would be announced for Wii U. I also expected it to have a great deal of Amiibo support and compatibility.

I did not expect the game to be entirely Amiibo based and completely mandate their use. Even though the game will come with Amiibo, I still think that is lame. Today I have learned some new information which at least makes me a little more optimistic: an anonymous photograph of a promo box for Amiibo Festival confirmed there will be online play. Which has been conspicuously absent from the Mario Party series entirely.

Hopefully now that Nintendo is going full retard with Amiibo they will start making other smart game design decisions as well. They have some making up to do after E3.

OH SHIT: Five Nights at Freddy's 4 Trailer + Release Date News!

In case you haven't seen it, the trailer for Five Nights at Freddy's 4: The Final Chapter

Not to gush, but FNAF has always had the sickest trailers. I bet FNAF creator Scott Cawthon has gotten attention from people making horror films, his sensibility for exploiting fear is sublime. I suppose I should strike this line - I just read the Wiki article which confirms a movie is being explored.

Anyhow, the game was supposed to come out Halloween 2015. But after dropping this trailer, Scott Cawthon confirmed that the release date was being moved up from October 31st to August 8th, to commemorate the 1 year anniversary of the release of the original.

How cool is that? Cawthon is one of the few game developers delivering good news instead of bad. When was the last time a developer moved up a release date instead of delaying?  

Tweet by Randy Pitchford Proves Confirms Loss of $10M On Colonial Marines

Randy Pitchford, co-founder and current CEO of Gearbox Software, is apparently a pretty shit business man, demonstrably foolish, and should probably stop using Twitter for his own good. He admitted in a Tweet on July 14th, as reported by Gamespot, that he invested $10 Million of his own money on top of the other capital invested in the game.

$10 Million, of which he lost every penny when the game bombed. Besides the terrible business sense of the decision (isn't "don't invest your own money" a central tenet of business?) but it also raises some serious eyebrows regarding the quality of the final product. Was he trying to conceal the fact that the game was a load of crap with money?  Was something even crazier going on? Things seem to have spiraled downward for Gearbox over the last couple of years.

It's a shame that with so much money floating around Gearbox can't make anything decent. Hopefully they can turn themselves around in the near future.

Rumor Mill #2: Miyamoto to lead Nintendo?

The Wall Street Journal and My Nintendo News recently wrote articles suggesting that Shigeru Miyamoto is a likely contender to replace Satoru Iwata as Nintendo of Japan's CEO.  An interesting idea - Miyamoto is the personification of Nintendo's relationship with the fans and a worthy contender for carrying on Iwata's legacy.

Unfortunately this is all most likely bunk. Miyamoto is too heavily entrenched in the development aspect of game development. Mr. Miyamoto is somewhat like an inverse of Mr. Iwata. Both talented developers, both smart business men. But Miyamoto has always focused on the personal game development aspect while Iwata naturally gravitated towards the business aspect and later leading the company.

Bottom line: Miyamoto is too good at making games and too integral to that process to take the helm as CEO. What few rumors might exist are bogus.

Speculation: Silent Hills

I wanted to post this as a "Rumor Mill" type of post, but there is nothing more to support these beliefs beyond logic and a few whispers on the internet. But sometimes it is worthwhile to take a big gamble on something seemingly impossible - it just does not make sense to me that Hideo Kojima and Konami's Silent Hills can just be dead.

Not referring to the almost certainly false rumor that Microsoft could potentially save Silent Hills. Phil Spencer emphatically denied this possibility with a Tweet. And the logic of Konami's decision seems consistent, if not wise - they have more or less left the American market completely and delisted themselves from the New York Stock Exchange.

But if Konami is really going to axe this project, after all the hype and excitement it produced, after all the work they did producing such an unusual engine and contracting with so many big names, then Konami is dumb as hell. That is Capcom levels of moronic. But with master showman Hideo Kojima being involved we can never know what is truly going on. Are we getting played? Or does Konami really just not know what they're doing?

And if it is all true, when Allison Road  comes out and does very well (which I can almost guarantee, it looks excellent and is filling the vacuum left by Silent Hills perfectly) everyone at Konami will be kicking themselves for years, no matter how much profit might have been saved by abandoning the West.

New Amiibo in September - Gamestop most likely NOT allowing preorders

You could have easily lost the Super Smash Bros. Nintendo Direct in the insanity of E3. The Direct, which took place the day before Nintendo's main Direct for E3, hit the viewer with a  ton of information on top of an already swirling rumor mill. Many Amiibo fans were delighted to see the announcement of a number of new Amiibos - Duck Hunt, Game & Watch, Falco and ROB are due in September.

Take a look at this article from Twinfinite for more info.


A few notes for collectors -

• ROB will have differences in color based on region

• Game & Watch will be fairly customizable. Multiple G&W's, including a version swinging his hammer and deploying his parachute, will be available for you to swap out.

Curious discovery I made on my own, however. I went to Gamestop to ask about maybe (just maybe) preordering Duck Hunt. The employee told me that Gamestop was not going to be taking ANY preorders for Amiibos anymore and will sell them on a first come, first serve basis.

Pretty interesting news. I think a one per type, per customer rule might be more effective but Gamestop is always going to Gamestop.